A few months after Lucas was born, I decided to begin actually using our YMCA membership that we've had for our family. Initially, I was nervous. I was sending my babies to child watch for an hour or two while I went to work out. I didn't know these strangers, and it is hard for me to trust people. But, I swallowed my fear. I did some research, and I decided that I needed to make this transition in small baby steps. One or two hours here and there really wasn't bad to let someone watch them. I have a hard time being away from the kids, so I needed to let that anxiety go a tiny bit wherever I could. The first few times I felt like I was nervous and worried the entire time, but the kids LOVED child watch. They loved playing with the other kids, and they simply loved the idea of "going to the gym". Ahhh...I could relax a bit. I could maybe enjoy my time at the gym versus being a nervous wreck.
After we transitioned at the YMCA, I began to find that "Hey, I really enjoy this." It is giving me the outlet that is very much needed. I am able to have some time to myself, and I am able to have a bit of a break. I may have to go the gym to get that, but hey sometimes just having a space for adult thoughts can do wonders for your body. I don't think you will ever see me "World's best athlete or work out queen" , but I do enjoy my time. I enjoy that freedom of working out any aggression or thoughts I may be harboring within. In the summer, the kiddos did swimming lessons at the YMCA, and they are playing soccer at the YMCA this fall. The YMCA has in a way saved me. It has allowed me to have a place for me and my family to do something healthy and positive.
A few weeks back I was scrolling through my facebook, and I read a friend's status about some things she recently has accomplished. One of the things she mentioned is how she has decided to quit wearing make up. Now, I certainly do not think there is anything wrong with make up, so please do not think that I am condemning those that do. She also mentioned only washing her face with water. Initially, I thought; there is no way I could leave my house without make up on. I'd look a hot mess. People would think that I was the mom who simply doesn't care enough about herself to take time to get ready. But, you know what, I chose to embrace this challenge. I challenged myself to look past the mask. I choose to take a break from make up. It doesn't have anything to do with it being right or wrong, but I decided to not wear make up because I do not need products to make me beautiful. I am beautiful. This is me. I am not defined by products. A few positives that I have found during this challenge is the following:
1) More time in the morning,
2) more sleep if I choose to,
3) no worrying about self appearance,
4) more self-confidence, and
5) learning to love self.
God brings beauty from the ashes. I am living proof of that. This role as a wife, bereaved mother, a mother to living children, and a mom trying to balance all of those things at once. My journey hasn't always been beautiful, but I am telling you that if we believe that God can use our broken pieces, then our lives will display array of beauty. This song is one of my favs
What are some things that can free your time up a bit? What are some things that make you happier? Is there something that you can let go of just a tad just help reduce some stress or anxiety? I know it isn't easy, but I challenge you to take a look at your life. Take a moment to do something for yourself. Love yourself. When you learn to love yourself, you can love others so much better.