I've really been slacking on blogging, and I keep saying that I am going to get better at it. Have I? NOPE! I think I've discovered why it has suddenly become more difficult to write. It is difficult because the only people who truly understand are people who have experienced what we are experiencing with our journey with Bentley, and whether most of our friends and family say it or not, most things we do seem unnatural to many, and they seem bizarre I'm sure. But, it is our "new normal". Many people never tell me to stop talking about Bentley. No body really comes out and says, "get over it", but I feel that way most days. I feel that many people have those thoughts when they realize that October 17th seems like yesterday most days. I guess when it boils down to it, I feel that many people believe that we just have to move on. And, I WILL NOT move on from Bentley. I never will. And, people who haven't experienced the loss of a child do not understand that. It does not mean that we dwell on it. It means we can move forward, but we never get over it. We never can be "us" again. Life is forever changed.
Everything is so different now because we are experiencing a life of what should be. I am pregnant, yes, but I shouldn't have to be. I should be able to enjoy Bentley. I am so thankful for the pregnancy, and Baby Chase, please do not get me wrong. But,