I can't believe that it is September 18th already...really where has time gone? It has been 11 months since Blake and I said "aloha" to Bentley. We told him Hello and Goodbye all in one same breathe. How is that fair? How is that normal? It isn't. Life sure is cruel. It is heartbreaking. It is evil. It is wrong. And, it certainly isn't fair. I don't like hearing the phrases that "everything happens for a reason" or at least Bentley didn't have to endure the pain of the world or hearing that it would have been worse had he lived, then died...none of it is comforting. None of it takes away the pain. But, in all honest, I don't think anything will ever take away the pain. Blake and I are just simply learning to live with the pain.
Chase has arrived, and he is the hope that keeps us going. He puts a smile on my day, and he gives me a reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And, there is not a day that goes by that I do not somehow see Bentley shining through our lives too. Some may think that Blake and I are extreme when honoring Bentley or they may think we are doing too much or we are "stuck" or whatever else, but Bentley truly has made such a huge impact on us and so many. There is not a day that goes by that someone does not contact me via e-mail, text, facebook, or I meet a new stranger who has experienced babyloss of some kind. And, everytime...I am able to tell them about Bentley. And, I am able to give some hope with having Chase. I am able to talk openly about our journey with Bentley. I like to encourage others to talk openly about their loss because I HATE that baby loss is taboo. Bentley has given me a reason to live...a purpose for our lives. Blake and I were given a story. Now, don't get me wrong....I wish Bentley was here with all my heart. I'd do ANYTHING to bring him back....but I can't. The only thing I can do is keep living my life in honor of Bentley...I gotta keep on going. I gotta make my little boy proud.
Blake and I have several things in the works right now to honor Bentley and opportunities have been opened..God truly has caried us to this point, and I know that he still is carrying us. Now, he has Chase to carry too! :) We are going to get through, just keep putting one foot in front of the other....I just hate that 1 year is quickly coming....oh how I thought I'd be planning Bentley's 1st Birthday but instead...we are planning a day to honor him.
I really really need to start blogging more.... I have so many things that I want to say just not enough time in the day to do so.
Chase has arrived, and he is the hope that keeps us going. He puts a smile on my day, and he gives me a reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And, there is not a day that goes by that I do not somehow see Bentley shining through our lives too. Some may think that Blake and I are extreme when honoring Bentley or they may think we are doing too much or we are "stuck" or whatever else, but Bentley truly has made such a huge impact on us and so many. There is not a day that goes by that someone does not contact me via e-mail, text, facebook, or I meet a new stranger who has experienced babyloss of some kind. And, everytime...I am able to tell them about Bentley. And, I am able to give some hope with having Chase. I am able to talk openly about our journey with Bentley. I like to encourage others to talk openly about their loss because I HATE that baby loss is taboo. Bentley has given me a reason to live...a purpose for our lives. Blake and I were given a story. Now, don't get me wrong....I wish Bentley was here with all my heart. I'd do ANYTHING to bring him back....but I can't. The only thing I can do is keep living my life in honor of Bentley...I gotta keep on going. I gotta make my little boy proud.
Blake and I have several things in the works right now to honor Bentley and opportunities have been opened..God truly has caried us to this point, and I know that he still is carrying us. Now, he has Chase to carry too! :) We are going to get through, just keep putting one foot in front of the other....I just hate that 1 year is quickly coming....oh how I thought I'd be planning Bentley's 1st Birthday but instead...we are planning a day to honor him.
I really really need to start blogging more.... I have so many things that I want to say just not enough time in the day to do so.