Wow...almost 36 weeks. I can not believe that the time has now come that Mr. Chase will be arrively shortly. It seems like yesterday that I was awaiting the arrival of Bentley. It seems so unreal that just 9 months ago we buried our precious firstborn son. I can't even describe in words that happiness, the heartache, the fears, the hopes, ect that Blake and I have in thes final weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds upon Chase's arrival. I truly believe a lot of people are probably thinking in their mind, "yes, maybe Steph and Blake will stop being so upset all the time and just be happy once Chase comes." Oh, how I wish those words were true. Oh, how i wish I could go back to October 17th and change the outcome of that appointment, but I can't. I can't go back, so I have put my feet on the ground each day. I haven't moved on. I haven't forgotten. We still carry the pain and the heartache, and we will continue to carry that. There is nothing or no one that will instanteously take away our loss with Bentley. I believe that Chase will help us heal. I believe that he will has his own unique way of helping us to smile again- to believe again, to live again, and to breathe again. But, I know that nothing will replace the love that I have for Bentley.
I think that a lot of people just don't understand everything that goes with pregnancy loss. And, I don't expect everyone to either because it isn't something obviously everyone experiences and I certainly doesn't wish this upon even my worst enemy. i can't expect anyone to think about everything that our loss entails. But, it is our job as pregnancy loss parents to enlighten those around us--to educate them. It is part of our healing for us to help others understand the depth of our loss. Another aspect that I don't think many don't understand. Pregnancy loss is such a taboo subject; anyone who experiences it is supposed to just push it under the table and keep moving on. And, i can assure that it is NOT the case. We need to talk about it. We need to feel these emotions. They are real. Bentley was real. He grew in my stomach for 38 weeks...and he continues to live in heaven, and we will see him again. I am very thankful for the hope of heaven. It is our saving grace. I know that one day we will all be a family together.
So, as these days ahead are getting tougher mentally and physically, I can not wait until the moment that I hold Chase in my arms. I can't wait for the moment that Blake gets to hold him. This birth experience is going to have a millon emotions surrounding it. They are going to be intense. They will be happy. They will be bittersweet. They will be difficult. But, most of all, I know we will have our sweet Chase in our arms. I know that God promised us "joy that cometh in the morning". Chase is our joy. I have a peace that all is going to be well with Chase. I do believe that peace has come from God. I know that I have prayed for it, and there have been many of you who have prayed that we will be comforted that Chase will arive safely. But, this is all still very difficult, so we appreciate all the continued prayers.
As Chase's arrival is quickly approaching here in the next week and half...I do want to mention that Blake and I are asking that people understand that these moments are precious to us. They are going to be filled with such bittersweet and happy moments...we will be announcing Chase's arrival, but I personally don't know that it will be posted to fb immediately or anything like that. I know that Blake and I want to spend time bonding with Chase at the hospital that visitors will be limited as that time is very important to us. We hope everyone understands the emotional time. But, once he arrives and we are ready....trust me, there will tons of pictures to come and he has a lot of people to meet!!! If anyone has any questions or whatnot they are more than welcome to message me! Thank you for everyone's continued prayers!!! The countdown is on...
I think that a lot of people just don't understand everything that goes with pregnancy loss. And, I don't expect everyone to either because it isn't something obviously everyone experiences and I certainly doesn't wish this upon even my worst enemy. i can't expect anyone to think about everything that our loss entails. But, it is our job as pregnancy loss parents to enlighten those around us--to educate them. It is part of our healing for us to help others understand the depth of our loss. Another aspect that I don't think many don't understand. Pregnancy loss is such a taboo subject; anyone who experiences it is supposed to just push it under the table and keep moving on. And, i can assure that it is NOT the case. We need to talk about it. We need to feel these emotions. They are real. Bentley was real. He grew in my stomach for 38 weeks...and he continues to live in heaven, and we will see him again. I am very thankful for the hope of heaven. It is our saving grace. I know that one day we will all be a family together.
So, as these days ahead are getting tougher mentally and physically, I can not wait until the moment that I hold Chase in my arms. I can't wait for the moment that Blake gets to hold him. This birth experience is going to have a millon emotions surrounding it. They are going to be intense. They will be happy. They will be bittersweet. They will be difficult. But, most of all, I know we will have our sweet Chase in our arms. I know that God promised us "joy that cometh in the morning". Chase is our joy. I have a peace that all is going to be well with Chase. I do believe that peace has come from God. I know that I have prayed for it, and there have been many of you who have prayed that we will be comforted that Chase will arive safely. But, this is all still very difficult, so we appreciate all the continued prayers.
As Chase's arrival is quickly approaching here in the next week and half...I do want to mention that Blake and I are asking that people understand that these moments are precious to us. They are going to be filled with such bittersweet and happy moments...we will be announcing Chase's arrival, but I personally don't know that it will be posted to fb immediately or anything like that. I know that Blake and I want to spend time bonding with Chase at the hospital that visitors will be limited as that time is very important to us. We hope everyone understands the emotional time. But, once he arrives and we are ready....trust me, there will tons of pictures to come and he has a lot of people to meet!!! If anyone has any questions or whatnot they are more than welcome to message me! Thank you for everyone's continued prayers!!! The countdown is on...