Baby #2 and I are doing well. We have had some emotional moments, but we are doing well. I am 6 weeks today, and I can't really complain. I'll be honest--I really don't mind being pregnant. When I was pregnant with Bentley...I was really sick the first half, and you know what I'd do it again. I have been really sleepy. Exhaustion is more like it. I sleep really good most nights which I am thankful for. I feared that sleep would be my biggest hurdle to overcome with taking one day at a time, but God has yet again answered prayers. I forgot how tired making a baby in the beginning is though! :)
Thursday was a rough day at work, and I just had a breakdown that I just needed to know that everything is okay. My first appointment is Jan 17th, and I was feeling so overwhelmed with work that I started thinking about Jan 17th, and it just seemed so far away. I just needed to know that everything was okay. And, I think more than anything, I needed to know that there was a plan. I needed to know that I was going to be watched closely. I think I just needed reassurance that I had doctors there for me. I know that they are all there, and I knew that before the phone call, but I can't explain the frantic thoughts that I get at times. My mind races to every thought possible. And, it is very difficult when I look at people and tell them I am expecting , and they respond by saying: "what will you do if it happens again?" or they say "is that a good thing". It makes me feel really uncomfortable. It kinda hurts to think that. But, I was sobbing and all upset, and I just called to talk to Dr. Oh the other day. He called me and he assured me that they will watch me closely. He calmed me down a good bit. He allowed me to get my thoughts out there, and he emphasized with my thoughts and fears.
He is allowing me to go every Tuesday to get my HCG levels taken...never in my life did I enjoy getting bloodwork because I typically leave with numerous bruises, but I now am excited to get blood work. Each Tuesday when I go get blood work...it is one Tuesday closer to getting to know that everything is going well. :) And, I am trusting God with this pregnancy. I believe that he is carrying Blake and I to the end.
I am so excited to meet baby #2!! :) Bentley's going to be a big brother...which we got an ornament for his tree that says "Big Brother" the other day....it's pretty sweet. And, we are going to put something on his grave that says "Big Brother". But, life with baby #2 is going pretty good so far...