Three months ago today, the nurse was removing the Cervidal (sp?) from my cervix to get ready to begin pitocin. Labor was nearing. Bentley's body entered the world at 3:54pm on October 18, 2011, but his spirit had already left this world to be with Jesus. It is today that we celebrate his birth. It all seems so unreal. Most days I don't believe it's happened, but the reality hits me pretty quick, and sometimes it hits me hard. There's not a moment that goes by that Bentley doesn't consume my thoughts. Everywhere I look, I think "what would I be doing if Bentley was with me?"
Today is particularly an odd day for me. Over the last 6 months, I have grown extremely close with a coworker from work. And, I really hope she doesn't mind me sharing this. During my pregnancy with Bentley, we would talk about labor and our fears and excitements of when our precious little boys would come. My son was going to be named Bentley Charles Nalley. And, her son was going to be named Jude Daniel Cifuentes. Bentley was due on October 31, 2011, and Jude was to be born on January 31, 2012. I always thought that was cool because our boys would be so close in age. Our boys is what brought Hannah and I together. But, Hannah didn't disappear after I lost Bentley on October 18, 2011. Not to be rude, but I didn't think many pregnant people were going to stick around because I figured they would feel scared or awkward or just not know what to say. But, I can tell you, I appreciate Hannah. She stuck by me. She would check on me, and she would ensure that I was okay. She was always worried about ensuring that I didn't feel uncomfortable, and she assured me that she'd never forget Bentley. And, I believe that. And, I know she is sincere.
These last several weeks, I know how been difficult for her, as she was nearing the end...and it was difficult for me because I felt like I was watching a mirror of my life just three months ago. Our appointments and dialation was very similar each visit. They actually were almost exact. I prayed that everything would be okay. I prayed that Bentley would hold her hand through this, and he would give her the precious, baby boy she deserved. And, he did just that. Hannah delivered today, January 18, 2012--exactly three months from the day Bentley's body was delivered. So, today is a rough day, but it is a joyous day because I know that Bentley had a hand in this. I believe he did. Did it bring tears to my eyes? Yes, I couldn't tell you how happy that I am for Hannah though. She has been such a great friend to me over the last several months, and I truly am happy that Jude arrived safe and sound. Bentley and Jude were about the same size, born just three months apart, and I know that if Bentley was here--they'd be the bestest friends.
Hannah and I share a very similar pregnancy and a very similar delivery in the very same room that Bentley was born in, but I am taking this as a way to just ensure that we become closer. I want to celebrate with her. I want her to be happy because I know Bentley, Baby #2, and I are so happy! :) I'm glad my angel, Bentley, could be apart of Jude's day!
Today at 3:54pm, Blake and I ask that people join us in a moment of silence. We are taking this moment to remember Bentley...Bentley Charles Nalley has impacted so many people. I'm so proud of my