I know that I have stressed this, and I know that I've preached to everyone our story, BUT I AM A MOM. BLAKE IS A DAD. I don't want to make anyone who is my family feel like I don't understand their pain of loss, but we lost our son! Seriously? You really feel like you're hurting MORE than us? There's words cut like a knife, and you know why? They cut because I should have Bentley here. I should be holding him. Blake and I should be experiencing life with Bentley and this new baby on the way. Don't tell me that your pain is worse, and don't tell other's that I need to get over it. Don't tell people that you hurt more than I do. We are Bentley's parents, no one else. And, sometimes I think people should be more thankful that they have been included. They have been included because Blake and I have been nice. I just don't understand how some people think the things they say are even right.
Seriously? I don't even think I can sit here and write too much because I'm going to be honest...I have anger forming. And, I don't want to be an angry person, but there are things that are pushing my buttons. And, I'm not stressing about this pregnancy. I'm trusting God. I gave God this pregnancy. Blake and I have been relying on him--maybe other's should too if their pain is so great. Maybe some people think I'm being rude, some may say I'm insensative, but honestly, Bentley was our hopes/dreams. He is our first born son, and he's in heaven. We don't get a life with him like most. And, Blake and I are mentally doing good. We are surviving because of God. We have our heads in the right place. so no one has to worry about us. We just simply need prayers to make it through each day, but there's no reason for worry because God has hand in our lives.
I'll write more tomorrow or Monday, but I just don't understand some people's minds. I know what it's like to lose a child. I know what it's like just going to leave it at that....be apart of our lives or don't....at the end of the day....it isn't going