God has truly blessed Blake and I with the privledge to meet so many great men and women in our lives Day after day I have been given the opportunity to meet another family who has gone through the loss of pregnancy or a child shortly after being born. These people...I'll be honest, I wish we were all meeting under better circumstances, but I can tell you that God has placed each person in our lives for a purpose. It is so mind bloggling that Bentley's precious little life of 38 weeks has truly reached as many people as it has. Everyday I receive messages, comments, friend request--from people all over the WORLD, not even just this area--the WORLD. And, these people have read Bentley's story. And, most of these people have experience a loss. They have walked in our shoes. They understand our pain. We all carry that same heartache. We struggle with those empty arms. We are all robbed of our treasure--our precious children. It is a pain that we are all too familiar with, and it plain sucks. There are no words, but I am blessed that I have people that understand and support us. I don't know where we would be. I truly thank God for them. They are a constant reminder that people are surviving. They are not forgetting, but they are living our worst nightmare--our reality.
I have been asked by someone at the hospital to share our experience with losing Bentley. She teaches and leads conferences and trains people on grief, but they learn from a book. A book that tells you the stages, and what one should feel. This book gives you pointers, and this book gives you a synoposis of how someone should be coping. What better than first hand experience?!?! There is nothing better than someone who has experienced it. She would like to know from my perspective along with Blake's. We are going to discuss from those initial moments that we learned Bentley had passed and to the present. She asked, and I quickly responded by "of course, I'd love to do that". She responded by telling me that she didn't want to cause us pain by asking that, and I just smiled. I said talking about our experience is definately difficult, but there is nothing I'd rather do than to ensure that my precious Bentley is remembered and that he is talked about. I want people to ask about him. I want people to know him. I want people to understand.
We also agreed to talk to the doctors, nurses, and entire staff of Capitol. Some may think WHY? Why bother...many may feel, Steph, it's over. What good will it do? But, I can tell you that there's a lot of good it can do. Parents and families often are silent about pregnancy loss because its such a hush hush topic. It is something that no one wants to talk about because who wants to acknowledge that these awful things happen? Well, guess what...I'm sharing my experiences--good and bad. If there was something that could have made our experience better...I am going to share it because then just maybe somebody else won't have the same issues. And, if it's good then I want the staff to know that they need to keep doing it because the SIMPLE things in life are what gets people through pregnancy loss. It isn't something big and elaborate. It isn't huge gestures. It's the simple things like using Bentley's name. It's telling me that you're here for us or praying for us. I don't think many people understand that simple concept. Laugh with me when I'm smiling. Cry with me when I'm crying. Don't offer me words of wisdom--tell me it sucks.
I have been asked by someone at the hospital to share our experience with losing Bentley. She teaches and leads conferences and trains people on grief, but they learn from a book. A book that tells you the stages, and what one should feel. This book gives you pointers, and this book gives you a synoposis of how someone should be coping. What better than first hand experience?!?! There is nothing better than someone who has experienced it. She would like to know from my perspective along with Blake's. We are going to discuss from those initial moments that we learned Bentley had passed and to the present. She asked, and I quickly responded by "of course, I'd love to do that". She responded by telling me that she didn't want to cause us pain by asking that, and I just smiled. I said talking about our experience is definately difficult, but there is nothing I'd rather do than to ensure that my precious Bentley is remembered and that he is talked about. I want people to ask about him. I want people to know him. I want people to understand.
We also agreed to talk to the doctors, nurses, and entire staff of Capitol. Some may think WHY? Why bother...many may feel, Steph, it's over. What good will it do? But, I can tell you that there's a lot of good it can do. Parents and families often are silent about pregnancy loss because its such a hush hush topic. It is something that no one wants to talk about because who wants to acknowledge that these awful things happen? Well, guess what...I'm sharing my experiences--good and bad. If there was something that could have made our experience better...I am going to share it because then just maybe somebody else won't have the same issues. And, if it's good then I want the staff to know that they need to keep doing it because the SIMPLE things in life are what gets people through pregnancy loss. It isn't something big and elaborate. It isn't huge gestures. It's the simple things like using Bentley's name. It's telling me that you're here for us or praying for us. I don't think many people understand that simple concept. Laugh with me when I'm smiling. Cry with me when I'm crying. Don't offer me words of wisdom--tell me it sucks.
But...gotta get going to Blake's basketball game...Bentley MOMMY AND DADDY MIS