Man, this cold has really landed me on my butt! This past week been fighting it day in and day out! Last night I spent the entire evening coughing and hacking up this nasty stuff. And, having more bad dreams! Then, finally around 8am-10-15ish I got some sleep! It was some pretty good sleep for those two hours though! I am really hoping that tonight will be better! Prayers much appreciated for kicking this cold's butt!
So, today we went to visit Bentley's grave. We added his Valentines Day stuff. I love visiting Bentley, but I hate when it is time to go. I hate when we have to walk away. It is always so difficult. I know that Bentley isn't in that grave, but he is in Heaven, but it is still so hard. It's so hard because I hate that we are left with a stone, a box, empty arms, pictures, random items..blankets, and toys never used. I want smiles and laughs and tears. I want dirty diapers and sleepless nights. I want everything that comes with being a mom. So, leaving his grave is always a reminder. A reminder that is what we have....I look forward to the day that I will hold Bentley in my arms again. That moment will be indescribable. I hold onto the hope that there will be a day that I will see Bentley again, and it will be the best day of my life. I want that day that our family picture will be complete--that moment that we are all together...
Today I started scrapbooking....I know hell may just freeze over. I never have been a big one to scrap book, but I wanted to do this for Bentley. I know that it's important because I don't have Bentley to take care of so I want to do something for him. I want to show my love somehow, some way. I'll show the pages that I have done already at the end of the blog :)
I really don't have much to say right now. I just miss my son. I miss Bentley so much. He brought so much joy in our lives. He literally was/is the reason I start and end a day. He is my little boy. My shining star. He's my angel. I hold him close to me in my heart...and I'm never letting go..
Just somethings that are hard to hear...
"you'll be a mom again"
"God took Bentley from you"
"I hope you have better luck next time"
These are just a few, but let me start with the 1st one....I AM A MOM! And, 2nd...God didn't take Bentley. He allowed this to happen, yes. But, God isn't someone who does things to purposefully hurt people..somehow someway his name will get glorified. And, 3rd "better luck next time"...seriously? Can we just not even use words like this? I am trying to stay positive here. I'd appreciate it if everyone else would too...
It's difficult to hear people tell our parents, well maybe one day you'll be a grandparent. They ARE grandparents. And, my grandparents...they have FOUR great grand kids...they have Logan, Cooper, BENTLEY, AND Baby #2.....
So, today we went to visit Bentley's grave. We added his Valentines Day stuff. I love visiting Bentley, but I hate when it is time to go. I hate when we have to walk away. It is always so difficult. I know that Bentley isn't in that grave, but he is in Heaven, but it is still so hard. It's so hard because I hate that we are left with a stone, a box, empty arms, pictures, random items..blankets, and toys never used. I want smiles and laughs and tears. I want dirty diapers and sleepless nights. I want everything that comes with being a mom. So, leaving his grave is always a reminder. A reminder that is what we have....I look forward to the day that I will hold Bentley in my arms again. That moment will be indescribable. I hold onto the hope that there will be a day that I will see Bentley again, and it will be the best day of my life. I want that day that our family picture will be complete--that moment that we are all together...
Today I started scrapbooking....I know hell may just freeze over. I never have been a big one to scrap book, but I wanted to do this for Bentley. I know that it's important because I don't have Bentley to take care of so I want to do something for him. I want to show my love somehow, some way. I'll show the pages that I have done already at the end of the blog :)
I really don't have much to say right now. I just miss my son. I miss Bentley so much. He brought so much joy in our lives. He literally was/is the reason I start and end a day. He is my little boy. My shining star. He's my angel. I hold him close to me in my heart...and I'm never letting go..
Just somethings that are hard to hear...
"you'll be a mom again"
"God took Bentley from you"
"I hope you have better luck next time"
These are just a few, but let me start with the 1st one....I AM A MOM! And, 2nd...God didn't take Bentley. He allowed this to happen, yes. But, God isn't someone who does things to purposefully hurt people..somehow someway his name will get glorified. And, 3rd "better luck next time"...seriously? Can we just not even use words like this? I am trying to stay positive here. I'd appreciate it if everyone else would too...
It's difficult to hear people tell our parents, well maybe one day you'll be a grandparent. They ARE grandparents. And, my grandparents...they have FOUR great grand kids...they have Logan, Cooper, BENTLEY, AND Baby #2.....